You recently ended a long-term relationship or ended a period of significant self-reflection and personal growth. And, while it’s a good time to be single and make changes to your life, the scary part is that dating can be difficult! Whether you’re single and ready to mingle or you just need to get back into the dating scene, it can be a bit overwhelming. But don’t worry – you’re not alone! So many people are confused about dating again in the aftermath of a breakup.
Here’s the deal: dating is fun! It can also be scary and confusing. And, while you may be eager to mingle, there are a ton of things you need to consider before you dive back into the dating pool.
That’s why, to give you some perspective, we’ve compiled a list of 5 things you should keep in mind as you start dating again.
Keep reading to find out what these are, why you need to consider them, and how these considerations can improve your chances of success!
First, we need to check a few things before we even start talking about dating again…
Are you over your Ex?
If you’ve recently been through a breakup, it’s normal to be anxious about getting back into the dating scene. It’s normal to question whether you’re ready to date or if you’re even ‘allowed’ to date again. But if you’ve been through a breakup within the last six months, it’s also possible that you’re feeling heartbroken.
While it’s normal to feel heartbroken and sad after a breakup, if you’ve been actively grieving and thinking about the relationship a lot, it’s likely that you’re still dealing with post-breakup grief. In other words, you’re probably still processing what happened and you may feel some lingering sadness.
However, if you’ve been thinking a lot about the breakup, it’s also possible that you’re dealing with post-breakup anger. If you’ve been feeling sad or heartbroken, but also angry, this could indicate that you’re struggling with some unresolved feelings from the breakup.
You’re scared to get back in the game
Dating is exciting, nerve-wracking, and scary. Whether you’ve recently ended a relationship or you’ve been single for a long time, you’re probably scared to get back in the game. You may be afraid to find out if anyone wants to date you or if you’re even ready to date. You’re probably also feeling pressured to mingle and meet new people right away.
The truth is that you don’t have to rush into things. Even if you’re ready to mingle, you don’t have to jump into the dating pool right away. You can take your time. Dating isn’t a race. If you’re feeling pressured by your friends or the media to mingle, remind yourself that you deserve to take your time and set your own expectations.
That said, if you know that you want to get back out there and date, you should set some ground rules for your new relationship. Ground rules are important for a lot of reasons, but one of the most important is that they help you keep your relationship healthy.
What is Your Goal?
So you’re single and ready to start dating again. Great! But before you do, you need to determine what your goal is. Are you looking for a date or a relationship? Do you want to sleep with someone tonight or do you want to meet someone who you could potentially see your future with?
Setting your goals will help you determine what you’re looking for and whether you’re ready to date.
Do you just want to go out on a few dates and enjoy yourself without getting your heart broken again? Do you want to meet a guy who could be a future boyfriend? Do you want to meet a guy who could become a future husband? Or do you want to meet someone who could be a great friend with whom you can lean on when you need support?
Whatever your goal, it’s important to be realistic. If you’re looking for Mr. Right Now, you may want to think about taking it a little slower. If you’re looking for Mr. Right, you may want to consider easing into things. And if you want Mr. Right, Forever, you may want to consider dating a few friends before you branch out into the guy pool.
Five Things You Need to Consider Before You Date
Okay, we’ve got the why and the how all sorted out. Now, it’s time to get practical. In order to find your soul mate, you’ll need to be prepared and know what you’re looking for before you go on your next date.
Here are 5 things you should consider before you go on your next date.
1. Be honest and self-aware.
As you start dating again, it’s important to be honest and self-aware. Be honest about what you’re looking for. If you’re looking for Mr. Right Now, be upfront about it. And if you’re looking for someone who could become your boyfriend, let your date know.
Don’t try to be coy or play dumb. Be honest with yourself and your date. If you’ve been thinking a lot about the breakup, it’s also important to be honest with yourself. Are you still feeling sad or heartbroken? Have you been actively grieving the breakup? If you’re not, it’s time to move on.
2. Set boundaries and expectations
When it comes to setting boundaries, it’s important to set them early on in the relationship. If you don’t, it’s possible that they’ll slip later down the line.
This may seem counterintuitive, but it’s important to set boundaries so that both of you know where you stand. As you start dating, you should consider asking yourself the following questions about your boundaries:
When do I want to be in a relationship?
How long do I want to wait before I m in a relationship?
Where do you want to see yourself in 5 years?
What’s your number?
What’s yours?
If you don’t yet know what your answers are to these questions, it’s a good idea to figure that out before you start dating. It may seem too soon to be thinking about the future, but it’s not too soon to figure out what you want out of a relationship.
3. Know yourself first!
When you’re ready to start dating, remember that the dating pool is not full of Mr. Twomakes. Yes, there are guys out there who want to commit, but they’re not all Mr. Right Now. So before you make any moves, it’s important to make sure you’re ready for a relationship.
That means making sure you know yourself well enough to know whether or not you’re ready to start dating. Are you ready with all your ducks in a row? Are you emotionally ready to be in a relationship? Are you financially ready to be in a relationship? Are you ready to settle down?
4. Take it slow.
Remember that dating is not a race. If you’re in a hurry to meet Mr. Right Now, you could end up settling for Mr. Not Right, who is right now.
If you’re in a rush to meet someone who could become your boyfriend or future husband, you’re likely setting yourself up for heartbreak.
Take the time to get to know each other. If you’ve been thinking a lot about the breakup or you’re dealing with post-breakup feelings, it’s important to take things slow. Don’t try to force yourself to move too fast – that only leads to disappointment.
5. Don’t forget to have fun!
Remember, dating is supposed to be fun. If you approach it with a negative attitude, it’s likely you’ll meet a guy who treats you like crap. But if you approach it with an open mind and a positive attitude, you’re much more likely to meet someone who treats you well.